Dan’s Day 14 of 29 Gifts – Mom in need, Daughter in the clutch

1 Dan and Mom

Caring for an aging parent is not easy.  At 92, Mom continues to live in her own apartment in a senior residential community in New Jersey.  Her “new normal” life includes a live in 24 hour companion Tina.   Transitions are tough on us all, and even more so as we age.

Day 14 Christmas cardMy sister Patty is with Mom for a few days and does yeoman, nay yeowoman work in navigating with her doctors and tending to Mom’s care.  She is the daughter my mother needs.  My gift is to text Patty, Looking to support you with a phone call when is it a good time for you to talk.  Love, Dan.  When Patty gets weary , wondering, and doubting, I want her to know she is not alone.

Day 14 Mom and Patty on HB deck

When Patty calls, she fills me in on the story of Mom’s days: the details and the challenges.  She supports Mom by writing Mom’s Christmas cards with her and helps Mom organize.  More change is acoming, no doubt.  Mom is lucky to have Tina so she can stay in her condo, and we are all lucky to have Patty.

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2 thoughts on “Dan’s Day 14 of 29 Gifts – Mom in need, Daughter in the clutch

  1. ‘Mom is lucky to have Tina’ is the truest sentence you have ever written. I said to myself just yesterday.. the only thing that would make G happy would be to be tended by a family member 24/7 and therein lies the guilt..Why AREN’T I over there with him 24/7?  As best I can say it, it’s because I too need a life in order to give him one. My hours with him are precious to him (and to me) BUT, they are so draining, I need to come home and recover before I can return. We  DO HAVE spouses who are there all day every day.. each person has to ‘care’ in her own way..I heard a resident, whose husband is in Genesis with Gordon, spoken about more than dispargingly because she is not over there as often as the speaker thought she should be,.. NOONE can know what your limit is or why you choose the time spent that you do.. you cannot climb inside someone and know what motivates their caring… Thanks for helping me to continue figuring it out.

    >________________________________ > From: over60hiker >To: inskeeps2000@yahoo.com >Sent: Friday, January 3, 2014 3:43 AM >Subject: [New post] Dan’s Day 14 of 29 Gifts – Mom in need, Daughter in the clutch > > > > WordPress.com >danrothermel posted: ” Caring for an aging parent is not easy.  At 92, Mom continues to live in her own apartment in a senior residential community in New Jersey.  Her “new normal” life includes a live in 24 hour companion Tina.   Transitions are tough on us all, and even m” >

  2. So caring of you to use this space to thank and honor Patty. Meeting the needs of elderly or ill loved ones is INCREDIBLY hard. The work, of course, is something which Patty will never regret, and indeed, for which she will be grateful to have done; but right now? Man, it’s hard! Your love for her is so important! Thanks, Dan.

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