I’ve found it can be easier being the one holding the cards, treating others, sharing my bounty. It’s also seductive. The appreciation flows. Unavoidably there is some control; then liking being in control can follow. Too much “giving without sharing” can erode relationships. Let me explain.
Twice a week during the summer, our son Will and I get up at 5A to play nine holes of golf before he heads off to work in the athletic department at Merrimack College in North Andover, MA. Golf is a game I began playing during the summers in Arizona. In Arizona, my teaching buddies and I could play 18 holes at 3P for two dollars! True it was the 1970s and true it was 105 plus degrees at that time of day, but it never seemed so hot being on the green fairways.
Friendship with a grown child is a treasured gift that needs tending. As we play, Will and I talk about our shots. Though he outdrives me by a ton, we celebrate each other’s good shots. We don’t compete with each other; we just try to hit good golf shots within our physical and age limits. It’s very cool for me. My gift today is paying for our rounds of golf at Sagamore Hampton Country Club this morning. Later at nearby Betty’s Kitchen, Will pays for our breakfast of eggs over easy, home fries, and multi-grain toast (he has sausage patties, too). Sharing the gift of giving builds relationships.